Why So Many Managers Stay in Roles That Make Them Miserable

You moved up. You were promoted into leadership. Your paycheck is something to be celebrated. You feel financially stable. You feel important for having been given the title. People look to you for answers. You are a leader.

But you feel small. You are overwhelmed by the pressure to hold things together. The expectations to make a difference when you still feel you do not have enough authority to make changes. You’re exhausted from the constant meetings. You feel you have to prove yourself again and again. You’re tired of babysitting people and being responsible for all of their actions. You miss being responsible for yourself only. The job isn’t fitting your personality. You desperately want a career that feels fulfilling, with less stress and work you actually enjoy.

But you would be crazy to give it up. If you stick with it, you’ll be able to build a promising retirement. You may continue getting promoted and earning an even bigger paycheck. You won’t have to worry about where the money for your kids’ college will come from. You can pay off your mortgage sooner. You can increase your savings. You have a roof over your head, food on the table, and your bills are paid. You can avoid living under a bridge with your few belongings stored in a Target shopping cart.

But you are miserable. You are drowning. You are losing sleep. You are not taking care of yourself. You start every day with dread. You feel hopeless. You begin to question your abilities and second-guess every decision, convinced you’ve lost your edge.

But there are no other options for you. You’re stuck here. Stepping down would be failure. You should be grateful. You need to think of your financial future. Leaving would be irresponsible. You tell yourself your team depends on you, your boss trusts you, and your family would be disappointed if you walked away.

This is the classic pattern of someone who is miserable in management but cannot let go. The fear alone keeps them trapped in a career that steals their happiness. We become conditioned to believe there are no other options. Society makes us feel that the status of leadership is more important than the choice to be happy. We fear going broke, not being able to support our families, or not being successful at something else. Maybe we feel we are at an age where no other career would make sense. Maybe we are afraid to admit to family members that we cannot sustain the stress of our role.

This fear keeps us trapped, but this fear is only a feeling. It is not reality. The reality is we always have a choice to make a change and improve our lives. First, we need to become aware that the role is eating us up inside. Then, slowly take one step at a time toward changing our future. Take a step back and think about the types of roles that would make you truly happy, and the amount of money you actually need to get by financially. Research what you need to do to make that change. But that awareness that a change needs to happen is the key.